Another Gem article by "The Point" - iAfrica.
Tue, 16 Nov 2010 9:55
The Point is concerned that national What Would Julius Tweet Day is likely to lower the national IQ by at least 50 points. Sure, it starts out as a joke – a little Juju tweet here, a floydism there – but before you know it you are casually throwing the word nationalisation into conversations about Nando's. Cretations!
The Point – concerned as always with society's propensity for stupidity – has decided to roll out a little pop
quiz to stave off inevitable idiocy. There are no right answers. There may be wrong answers. I suggest you use the quiz as a method of refining (read: culling the morons) your circle of friends.
The ANCYL is championing the cause of Kim Jong-Il because:
(A) Mugabe is so 2009
(B) The North Koreans have embraced nationalisation… of everything
(C) Who can resist an outfit entirely in khaki? And those shoes!
(D) The Munchkin thought a trip to Thailand would be nice. Floyd booked the tickets. These things happen.
I know, I know, tough choices. Don't worry, the DA Youth have also been faced with this conundrum.
"The ANC and its Youth League should either distance themselves from these scandalous comments, or they should explain why it is that they are cavorting with despots," said DA Youth chairperson Mbali Ntuli.
Oh, well, when you put it like that.
"The stance is that the ANCYL supports the re-unification of North and South Korea," put forward the ANCYL's Magdalene Moonsamy.
That, folks, is a good example of a wrong answer.
A political conspiracy can rent a dog when:
(A) All the cats are already taken
(B) The ANCYL says it can
(C) Saturn and Jupiter are aligned
(D) ANCYL members are mysteriously gifted with legal prowess
The ANC, it would seem, is against all forms of animal hire.
"Not only is the ANCYL of the Northern Cape out of line for rubbishing the state security agencies and the courts of law, but should also publicly apologise to Advocate Simelane for calling him 'a rented dog of political conspiracy'," declared the eloquent Jackson Mthembu.
Ah, so now it's a bad idea to rubbish the courts? Someone forgot to give the memo to the new deputy minister of the police.
New deputy police minister Maggie Sotyu is:
(A) In the wrong job, she should have been given the Chief Justice spot
(B) An idiot
(C) Out to make a bit of a name for herself
(D) Going to crack down hard on criminals. Mainly the white ones.
In case you missed the news and are thoroughly confused, the gist of what Maggie said is that South African courts are racist because they dish out harsher sentences to black criminals. Her proof:
"There are scores, but I just can't remember now. You can't deny it. It's a fact our justice system hasn’t been transformed."
Oh, how I long for debating skills like hers. For who can resist such an infallible argument?
Many people, apparently. Most of them white.
Sasco posters calling for 'One Boer one bullet' are most likely the work of:
(A) Sasco
(B) Sasco
(C) Sasco
(D) White racists from AfriForum trying to smear the good name of Sasco
If you picked option (D) your name may very well be Mbulelo Mandlana. Check your ID. Yip, when faced accusations of racism, the Sasco president came up with this response:
"We are perturbed and disappointed that the AfriForum youth has the temerity to believe that a racist poster purporting to express the views of Sasco is real and part of our policy.
"These things occur consistently in white campuses and usually produced by white racist students who want to portray Sasco as racist in order to mobilise anti-Sasco sentiment among students."
Ah, yes, well that is the far more obvious explanation.
"We do not have proof that the so-called poster has actually not been produced by AfriForum members in order to later cry foul against our organisation and present us as racists and xenophobes."
Political conspiracy! Let's buy a dog and call it Roets.
Who is an example of a good leader?
(A) Winnie Madikizela-Mandela
(B) Steve Hofmeyr
(C) Tony Yengeni
(D) Juju Baby
PS. (A) is a trick answer. The Point wanted to confuse you by including another convicted criminal.
The real answer is, of course, Tony Yengeni. What? You picked Steve? Bad call. I mean, really, did he give up his illegal directorships this week?
"The ANC welcomes the immediate step [immediate is a relative term] by ANC NEC member Tony Yengeni to resign the directorships he holds in six companies as a show of good leadership," said Jackson Mthembu.
Yes, well, the ANC also kept you on as a spokesperson after you gave a drunken interview from a prison cell, so the standards aren't particularly high.
Who let the dogs out?
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